10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Cheating

#1 Should I find out if Ryan Gosling likes me back before I leave my man?



#2 Am I unrealistic for thinking there's more than one woman on Earth willing to have sex with me?  (Hint:  Yes.)



#3 How can I convince my wife that I go on three business trips a month, when I'm an assistant manager at Olive Garden?



#4 Am I ready to give up on my dreams . . . specifically my dreams of being tied down and never having fun ever?



#5 Can I get away with cheating if I call it "alternative spouse-ing?"



#6 Wouldn't it be easier to just pretend I'm having sex with someone else by closing my eyes?  And holding my nose?  And constantly humming so I don't hear his disgusting voice?



#7 Is my husband dumb enough to believe I'm spending my nights researching underground rock formations?



#8 Is it really cheating if it's with someone uglier than your spouse?



#9 Will I make my wife suspicious by starting to use deodorant?



#10 Do I want to run for office in the future, because this could be a huge benefit?




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