Photo: Verse Ent.
Diego a.k.a Lil Xan has been through a lot of up's and down's over the past few years, but his latest show really showed just how far he's come in his journey to recovery.
When iHeartRadio caught up with the California native earlier this month, the artist born Nicholas Diego Leanos had just had a full-circle moment at a show in Los Angeles. He performed at the same venue four years earlier but was plagued by his previous drug addiction that almost cut his life short. Nowadays, the "Betrayed" artist has been sober for over 18 months. Despite his previous doubts, he loves to perform without being under the influence.
"My philosophy is if I just make it seem in my head like it's gonna be so bad, and then it's not what I thought," Diego explained. "Even if it's just a slight amount better, I'm like, 'oh okay. That's good.'"
Fortunately, the turnout in the crowd was a lot better than he expected. They all came to watch him perform a mixture of old and new tracks with the support of a live band. It's a template he plans to perfect in the next several months for his upcoming tour in support of his comeback EP. The project doesn't have a name yet, but it features his latest singles "NODA (Not On Drugs Anymore)" and "So Pretty," which hit streaming services today. Both records are a step in a new direction for his music career, but he still draws influence from the likes of Lil Uzi Vert, Playboi Carti and various artists from other genres.
"I'm just so proud of Diego as a person," his manager Tee Johnson said during our interview. "Forget the artist. I'm just proud of him as a person because the struggle that he has to go through off of camera and everything else that people don't see. They just have no idea how hard he's actually worked to get to this point."
iHeartRadio spoke with Diego about his recovery, new music and his message to fans who've seen him grow into the artist he is today.
iHR: It seems like you're doing a lot better nowadays. How have you been feeling lately?
Diego: I've been doing really good. A lot of people know I've been sober for a while now. This show that I just did in L.A. was kind of like a full circle moment because I had done the show there like four years ago back, and it was a good show, but, you know, I was all f**ked up and s**t. Yeah. So to be here, to be using like a live band for the songs it just felt good. I felt really good right now.
That's great, man. Who's someone that's in your life right now that's been helping you get back on track?
Yeah that's definitely T my manager and Max. Max, Goose and T -- just the whole team, man. You know, I always wanted like a good structured team that is looking out for my best interest and is obviously keeping me on the right path. So definitely T my manager and Max my manager, definitely.
Was there something in particular that they said to you or anything they've done that's truly motivated you?
Yeah, they got me back out on the road, man. (laughs) I didn't think it was possible to even get back to a spot like this to be doing shows. I felt like I was so far down on the totem pole of just life in general, but, you know, slowly but surely they came into my life. They helped me get sober in the beginning. I think I met T when I was actually in rehab like a year and a half ago or something. Ever since I got out of there, they picked up the pieces and we got it back where we're supposed to be.
That's great to hear. I know you have another record that's dropping Friday. Tell us about your new song “So Pretty.”
“So Pretty,” that's a love letter to the fans right there. That's kind of like a little throwback to like my old sounding music with a little bit of some different. This one's like a love letter to the people that liked a lot of the old stuff. That's what this one is.
So they'll be able to get a little bit of the old you. It’s funny you bring that up because I was going to ask if anything has changed in the way you make music now versus how you used to make music. Is anything that that you've noticed that has changed since then?
Lyricism, definitely. I wouldn't say I was like a bad lyricist or anything back then, but just having a clear mind, you know, it really helps. I used to have this thing where I thought I could only make hits if I was like f**ked up off Xs or some s**t. And I'm sure a lot of artists go through something similar like that, but being sober, when I get to writing it's some different than what it used to be. The studio sessions look different they're not all f**king turn up sessions. We're getting music done. That's what's changed. I mean, I'm getting mature. I'm growing up. It's just naturally what's happening. We're just all grown up. It's fun to be at this level. I wish I was this guy back then. I'm glad I learned my lessons. Everything's better now, man. Everything's better.
Let's talk about your previously released single “NODA” a.k.a “Not On Drugs Anymore.” You definitely dropped a really eye-opening video for that one as well. Talk about what inspired you to make that record.
“NODA” that's a special record, man. I made it completely sober back in 2020. I was sober for like six months at the time, which was quite a long time. And I just felt, man, this record is so dope. I can't wait to drop it. And then like the f**king pandemic got, you know, involved and everything. And then I got kind of progressively worse in my addiction during that time. And then it just ended up being the perfect time to drop it in 2023. It’s so weird how that worked out, but it's better that I dropped it now. If I would've dropped it back then it would've just gotten scrambled and mixed in with all the others, you know? But now it means something, you know, it's weird how that worked out, but that's a real special record. A lot of people liked it. A lot of people thought it was more mature and evolved sound. It's exactly what I wanted and I wanna keep showing people that sort of progression with my music.
You also got something else that's in the works. You’ve got a new project coming?
We got a whole new project. A new EP is coming out, man. I don't even think I know the name of that project yet, to be honest. That project is gonna have a couple of love letters to the old stuff, but the selling point for me is it's gonna be a lot of “NODA”, a lot of new stuff that's not even like “NODA,” a lot more instruments, a lot more guitars, pianos and violins. I could have made this project back then, but I'm glad that finally everything has come again, full circle. This EP is like seven, eight songs and most of it is original new stuff that people haven't heard. And it's real special, man, you know, f**king however it does, I don't care, bro. I just wanna give people this f**king project.
It sounds like it's definitely gonna be a change from anything you've ever served up.
Oh, definitely something different. That's the exciting part.
Now you've done a lot of healing within the past year. What are some specific moments that really helped you push through your recovery?
It was so f**king bad, man. I had this conversation with a lot of people where I'm like, dude, I don't know how I'm still alive. My mom doesn't know how I'm still alive. A lot of people don't know it was that bad, you know? For the first time I just went full cold-turkey and had a bunch of seizures. The seizures were obviously a big wake up call because that felt like a near death experience. It was the seizures. I had a few of 'em and they're not too fun. So I was like, I don't really wanna go through this again, you know? And so I went cold-turkey like for a month. Then I went to a detox program because I was still pretty bad. Shout out to all the good ones out there, man. They really helped me out. They had me on therapy sessions and the right type of medicine to help me get off. So just stuff like that.
Glad that your so focused on your recovery. I know that you have a plans to hit the road again.
Yeah, we're putting together a 10 city run right now. Everything is coming together right now. By September - October we should be hitting the road, I believe. We probably might do some of the shows with the live instruments again too. It's gonna be fun. We're gonna do little smaller intimate venues to start it off. And then we're gonna do a few shows after the tour that are bigger venues. It's exciting, man. I finally get to try to add production value to this, which I didn't get to do before. I could have done before. I just wasn't focused on it. So now I'm in a place where we can add and make this shows fun, like, an actual fun experience. I feel like I get to f**king be an artist now, you know what I mean? It's a fun time, man. It's gonna be good. I'm excited to get back on the road.
It definitely sounds like you're back in it for real this time.
100%
What do you have to say to your fans who have either stuck by your side this whole time or have maybe switched sides because you know, of all the stuff that you've gone through. What do you have to say to them before you drop the project and get started with the tour?
Something that I've said kind of similar before is that I feel very appreciative of them for letting me take the time off that I needed to get better. That's wonderful, like the fandom’s still there. I f**king love them to death. Even at the show we just did, people were wearing merch that we used to sell five, six years ago. I forget. I have fans that like what I do as an artist and, and I just love them to death, man. I had a couple people cry still when they meet me. I don't know, man, I wanna cry damn near sometimes when I meet them, you know? I love you guys. Just the type of support that I feel sometimes just from the people man is amazing. Sometimes I'll just be walking down the street and I just say, what's up to random people. I don't know who the f**k they are, but they say “what's up” to me. It's a good feeling, man. I wouldn't be here without the fans and, and again, going back to the show we just did. It felt like they were very welcoming. It was like a welcome back show almost, you know? This is just the beginning. I'm excited to really give him the whole f**king cake. That's what I'm excited for. I wouldn't be here without the fans and I'm very appreciative of the fans.